Low esteem dating self sabotage

You may try to pass off your self-perceived weaknesses’ as strengths, but if you modify yourself in an attempt to win someone over or control the opinion they form of you, you are in a sense trying to control or dominate their thoughts and actions.Such behaviour means you want something from that person, be it their acceptance, attention, respect or approval.The behaviours are subtle, but by learning to recognise them, you can begin to overcome them.Most of us have doubted our ability, attractiveness and worth at some point.When someone comes along who wants to be with you, he or she is too easy-to-get to arouse that "required level of insecurity." If you can't feel those yearning, craving sensations, you think you aren't "in love." So you keep pursuing partners who trigger your insecurity and offer an "emotional challenge" in order to arouse the biochemistry of infatuation. Many people are afraid of commitment -- they fear both abandonment and engulfment.Engulfment is when someone starts to want you back and the walls close in on you.If you believe you're unworthy of love, you will attract partners who treat you as if you are.If you treat yourself as unimportant, chances are you will be treated as such by your mate.

Most people think they are specially equipped with radar to detect the right person - if not at first sight, at least by the second date.

"I need" creates a vacuum effect that forces you to clutch, grab, cling and consume; "I want" creates an openness that enables you to explore, consider, and shape the relationship you desire.

It's only when you operate from the basis of being a whole person with good self-esteem that you can find love based on want and not on need.

Another cause lies buried in your early relationship with your parents.

Maybe you felt rejected or dismissed, or struggled to win their approval or recognition.